


Home

by The_Hawk_Eye



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort, F/M, Light Angst, Loneliness, Love Confessions, My final, POV Sansa Stark, Post Season 8, Rebuilding, Sansa Stark is Queen in the North, Sansa-centric, Winterfell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-06 19:29:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18857599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Hawk_Eye/pseuds/The_Hawk_Eye
Summary: Jon leaves without saying goodbye. He rides a horse and disappears in the night. Sansa watches him leave in silence and stops Arya when she wants to go after him. It wouldn’t make any difference; Jon doesn’t want to be with them.Jon doesn’t want to be with me.





	Home

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to post this before the finale because I had the feeling I will suffer a lot in the last episode and right now I can dream jonsa is possible and is happening in canon.
> 
> English is not my first language so sorry for the mistakes,

Jon leaves without saying goodbye. He rides a horse and disappears in the night. Sansa watches him leave in silence and stops Arya when she wants to go after him. It wouldn’t make any difference; Jon doesn’t want to be with them. _Jon doesn’t want to be with me_. Sansa doesn’t cry, doesn’t complain. She stays in the South helping the survivors, organizing the food, making sure the people have a place to sleep and rest. During the time she spends in King’s Landing she receives a raven from the Wall, Jon has arrived safely. Arya decides to leave after that. She can’t do anything there and when she is sure Sansa is safe and there is no danger, Arya prepares everything to go, she doesn’t say where.

“You will know I’m doing fine.” Arya hugs her with a smile. “When will you go home?”

“I’m needed here.” Sansa sighs.

“Your people need you too.”

“I’ll stay till everything is organized.” She replies. “Two months more.” She guesses and Arya nods. They hug one last time and Arya leaves.

Two months later she is leaving the capital. People are feed and sheltered; therefore, Sansa is not longer essential there. The smallfolks watch her go, they love her. They want her as their queen but Sansa turns down such honour. “I just want to go home.” She says when some noblemen insist in making her queen. Sansa leaves with part of her army to Winterfell while the smallfolks watch her go, eyes full of gratitude and love. She is their queen even without a crown.

When she arrives Winterfell, it snows. A good omen, say her men. The bells of Winterfell ring to welcome her. Sansa is home. The queen is home. She takes off the hood of her cap and feels the snow on her skin. Sansa smiles and sees her people look at her with love and devotion. She smiles at them and finally, she is greeted by Bran. She goes to him and hugs him, Bran passes his arms around her.

“You’re home.” He says.

“I’m home.” She nods. That night, they celebrate the end of the war. There are good food and music. Sansa dances for the first time in years. She dances with all the men who come to her. Sansa even dances with Podrick and Brienne who tries desperately to avoid it but they have a dance and Sansa can see the smile in Brienne’s lips. She dances till she can no longer feel her legs. She is happy. She is not completely happy but she is happy. That night, after the party, she dances alone in her room a last dance. Sansa imagines she is dancing with Jon, that he is grabbing her waist and guiding her through the room. Their dance finishes with a soft kiss on her lips. _Then Jon would leave the room._

That night, she dreams about him for the first time since he left.

Next day, Sansa sends two ravens: one to Storm’s End and other to the Wall. She doesn’t expect an answer. She is the Queen in the North. There is no coronation, there is no need for that. Everybody treats her like a queen. Sansa doesn’t refuse the title because there is no one else. She accepts it and people cheer their queen. She will be a better queen than the men that came before her. Northerns love her and Sansa is touched by them. _I will be a queen for them. I will work hard for them. I won’t disappoint them._ She promises herself.

Brienne is the best company she could ask for. She is noble and strong and caring. She is a knight now, the only thing that Jaime could give her at the end. They don’t talk about him; Sansa doesn’t have anything nice to say about him and Brienne is still hurt. She makes her commander of the guard because there is no one who deserves such honour but Brienne.

Winterfell starts looking like a home again after months of hard work.

Sometimes, she receives a raven from Arya. She is fine, she is travelling. Arya is happy. She has gone to Storm’s End but left after some days. She wants to be free and Sansa understands her but, at the same time, she hopes her sister wants to see her again. Arya never talks about coming back and Sansa never asks when she sends ravens to the places her sister is. The Wall sends ravens too, Sam sends them. Sansa never asks about Jon but Sam lets her know he is fine. Jon is struggling with something, Sam never says what and Sansa respects his silence. Jon is rebuilding the Wall.

“It would be so lovely to see children running in the ward.” She says one day. There aren’t a lot of children nowadays. Winterfell seems empty without children laughing.

“We will see them again.” Bran looks at her with a smile. He is more human now, he acts like he has feelings again and Sansa feels more comfortable around him. “We just have to wait a little longer.” Sansa touches her belly and asks herself if she will marry again if she will be a mother. She doesn’t say anything but she... She doesn’t finish the thought. _I’m not a stupid girl anymore._ She doesn’t dream anymore like she used to. She thinks about Jon.

“I miss Jon.” She says it is the first time she dares to say that out loud. She has been always terrified of that truth, of what it means. “It would be so nice to see him again.” She doesn’t know why she is saying those things now. Maybe she is tired of waiting for something that won’t happen. Maybe she is tired of yearning for his love. Bran doesn’t say anything, she wasn’t expecting it. She keeps walking and pushing the wheelchair after that.

“He will come back.” Bran says suddenly. “Winterfell is his home too.” Sansa tries not to think too much about what that means.

The castle is built and it looks beautiful under the snow.

“You’ve done this.” Lord Royce says when he visits her. He is a good man and Sansa enjoys his company and his honest advises. He would die for her, he loves her like a daughter and makes her feel better when she is lonely. His words are kind. “You’ve rebuilt Winterfell, your Grace.” She denies it but he insists. They never talk about the past, about Littlefinger; they talk about Robin though. He is weak but he is much better now, her cousin has started to sound like a Lord finally.

“Not an easy job.” Sansa jokes with Lord Royce. The man nods and they keep talking about the end of the war, King’s Landing... Everybody is too tired for another war and every kingdom is fighting to have a good relationship with the rest. When Lord Royce leaves again, Sansa talks with her advisors. Everybody is happy and enjoying the peace.

A year passes and Sansa sees children playing and training in the ward.

She wants a family but the man she loves can’t give her anything. _Jon is not here. Jon doesn't want to be here._ She should move on. She has been working so hard for her kingdom, she didn’t have a lot of time to think about Jon but now... She knows the Lords, there are some that she likes. Sansa should marry again to give continuity to House Stark. _He will have to abandon his name._ She doesn’t care about tradition anymore, the man who marries her will have to take her name.

She will die being Sansa Stark of Winterfell.

Sansa visits the battement every time she can. She likes observing the horizon, it gives her peace. Brienne is with her that day.

“There are people coming.” Brienne says. Sansa has seen the shadows but it is snowing so it is very difficult to recognize who they are.

“Maybe are just traders.” People are starting to live again, it is normal to see dealers again coming from different towns. The group doesn’t look like traders but Sansa can’t see any banner with them. There is a red-haired man in the group and she feels his heart bumping against her chest. She touches Brienne’s gauntlet for support. They come from the Wall. The red-haired man is Tormund. She freezes. _Jon._ She can’t recognize him in the group but she knows he is there.

“We should go, your Grace.” Brienne pushes her delicately and Sansa starts walking. She arrives at the ward and sees Jon.

Jon is looking around, he is searching for her. She doesn’t move. Their eyes meet and she doesn’t know what she should do. She can’t run to him, she is the queen now and she doesn’t know if he wants... His dark eyes shine and Sansa bites her lips. He is wearing black clothes and his hair in a small bun. Sansa realizes Jon is as scared and confused as she is. None of them knows what it is the right thing to do. Jon moves slightly to her, he wants to go to her.

“Sansa.” He doesn’t make a sound but she can hear him calling her name.

Sansa runs then. She goes to his arms and feels them around her body. He squeezes against his chest. She hides in the embrace and doesn’t think about anything else. He could leave again, but she wants to believe he is coming home. She wants to believe he is staying with her. She has missed him so much. “I’m sorry.” He says quietly against her ear. “I’m sorry.” He repeats, his voice full of shame and regret. She lengthens the embrace all she can. “I’m sorry.” He says one last time looking at her. She wants to reassure him but doesn’t know what to say. What is he apologizing for?

She greets the rest and guides them inside the castle. Bran receives Jon with a smile. Sansa sees Gilly’s baby and goes to her. It is a baby girl. Sansa touches her soft skin and one of her fingers is trapped by her small hand. She is so small and cute. Gilly proudly talks about little Sammy who is an excellent big brother and Sansa praises the little boy. Both children are healthy and Sam is an incredible reader like his father which Gilly appreciates because he is a better teacher than Sam since they have the same level. Sansa leaves them in a room and before she can talk with Tormund he is around Brienne.

“Can we talk?” Jon asks her.

“I’m your queen now.” Sansa wants to be cruel, she wants to deny him that.

“Can we talk, your Grace?” She wants to be cruel. She wants to let him know she is hurt that she hasn’t forgotten but she can’t. She nods in silence and they go to her office. They don’t say anything. There is a tense silence that Sansa doesn’t try to ease or break. He deserves this. He left her alone. Jon left without a word.

She enters first and Jon closes the door behind him. Sansa looks at him in silence. He is the one who owes her an explanation and an apology. He left her when she needed him. He left everybody behind that day. He didn’t give her the chance to ease his pain. Jon breathes and blinks. There is shame in his eyes but there is determination too. Jon kneels in front of her and takes her hand. His eyes are glued to hers and Sansa doesn’t dare to speak. He removes her glove in absolute silence and kisses her skin. His lips touch her hand and the contact lasts several seconds. Jon is taking his time before he looks at her again.

“I had to leave.” He says quietly, still on his knee. “What I did was monstrous. The way I behave was shameful.” He continues. “I know it’s probably too late. I know I hurt you.” He stops. “I was lost and you were in danger. What I did is unforgettable but I would do it again if that means you’re safe.” He never lets go of her hand. “I don’t know if it was the right decision. I don’t care if it was the right decision, I’d do it again.” His thumb makes circles in her skin. “She wanted to kill you... what I did is unforgettable but I couldn’t have lived with myself if she would have killed you. I would have killed her and then I would have died.” He pauses and breathes. “I don’t want to live without you.”

“Then.” She speaks with a broken voice. “Why did you leave?”

“I couldn’t stay after what I did.” He answers but it doesn’t make sense. “After what I saw I couldn’t stay Sansa. What happened that day was...” He struggles to find the proper words, they don’t exist. “I was devastated and broken. I only could see blood and fire.”

“You could have told me this. You could have said goodbye.”

“I couldn’t.” Jon denies. “Because if I had seen you before leaving, I’d never have done it. I would have dragged you with me. I would have made you miserable. So I left.”

“Why have you come back?” She asks. What has changed for him?

“I helped in the Wall. I stayed with the Night Watch and helped. I...” He doesn’t have the words, Jon doesn’t know how to explain himself. Sansa takes his other hand and helps him to stand up. Jon removes her other glove and takes both of her hands and guides them to his lips one more time. “I wanted to be with you but I would have been a burden.” Jon closes his eyes for one second. “I am so sorry Sansa.” Sansa frees one of her hands and stroke his cheek. “Can I come back home?”

“I would never deny you going back to Winterfell.” She would never do that. This is his home as much as hers. Sansa would never take that from him.

“Sansa.” He calls her name softly and she can see he is terrified now. He squeezes her hand and she sees a plea in his eyes. “Can I come home?” He repeats the question and for one second she doesn’t understand what he is asking. She is going to answer him again when he talks again. “Let me come back home.” _He is not talking about Winterfell._ The thought hits her. “Please.” _Jon wants to come back to me._ She realizes and she can’t stop a smile in her lips. _He’s coming back to me._

“Yes, Jon.” Her voice is a whisper but Jon hears her.

Jon cups her face, his hands are quivering. Sansa lets him. He kisses her forehead but when the kiss is over, he doesn’t let her go. He doesn’t move. They look at each other eyes and she doesn’t find fear anymore. Now, there is something else. There are yearning and love. Sansa bits her lower lip with anticipation and nods slightly. Jon’s eyes look at her mouth for a second and come back to hers before he closes them and the distance between them disappear. Sansa feels the tension abandoning her body. She gives herself to the kiss. Sansa puts her hands on his neck and feels Jon’s arm around her. He pushes her and the bodies collide completely. Jon is strong and gentle and doesn’t rush their kiss. He lets her ser the pace and it is Sansa who loses herself completely.

She wants more.

She breathes against Jon’s mouth but doesn’t let him go. She wants more. Nobody has kissed her like this. A kiss has never been so sweet before. She clings to his clothes desperately and Jon buries his fingers in her hair. Sansa feels the wall against her back and notices for the first time that they have moved. She doesn’t complain, she keeps kissing him. She has been dreaming about this for so long... She moans when Jon’s mouth kisses her chin and neck for a moment before returning to her lips. Sansa doesn’t know how much time they spend like that but she knows it must be for a while.

They end sitting on the ground with swollen lips and irregular breathing. They remain in silence for long minutes, incapable of talking. She smiles and looks at Jon who is smiling too. He is home.

“I love you.” It is the first thing Jon says to break the silence. “I’m sorry for everything I did, I was trying to protect you.”

“I know.” She learnt that when she had to go South to meet Daenerys. “I’m sorry for breaking my promise.”

“You were trying to protect me.” He says. None of them knew how to protect the other better. They made mistakes and fought the only way they knew.

“I forgive you.” She says because she knows Jon needs to hear the words, even if there is nothing to forgive.

“Thank you, Sansa.” He sighs relieved.

“We should... move.” She says resting her head on Jon’s shoulder. He takes her hand again.

“I want to be a Stark.”

“You are a Stark.”

“I know that but...” He doesn’t have the Stark name. Sansa understands what he is implying and tries to control herself.

“Are you sure?”

“I want to be with you. I want to protect you. I want to make you happy.” It sounds like a promise. “I want to die with you.” Sansa nods. _Jon is brave, gentle and strong. He is what father promised me._

“I want to live with you.” She replies and Jon pushes her to embrace her and kiss her again.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Sansa leaves Bran in the library with Sam. He is always calm but he is a human being again even with the three eye raven... power. She doesn’t understand yet what that is exactly. She stops in the balcony and looks at the children playing in the ward. There are so many children now. Jon is trying to teach some of them to fight. He is a good teacher and children love him but they prefer Arya. She is a hero; she is the woman who killed the Night King.

“They shouldn’t be doing my job.” Brienne complains. She is smiling and her voice is light.

“Let them have fun.” Sansa knows how much they like spending their time with all the children who dream to be like them. It is the best way to have Arya around for a while before she decides to go one more time. Jon waves at her to catch her attention. He smiles at her and points to Lyanna who is trying to lift up a sword too big for her. Her red hair shines under the sun and her blue eyes look determined. She adjusts little Robb in her arm and Sansa decides to go and gives Lyanna a wooden sword.

She has ever she ever wanted since she was a little girl. She looks around her. _I have more,_ she thinks. She wanted to be a queen, sitting next by her husband but she is not that. _I am the queen._ She never dared to dream about ruling. She has too much and sometimes she fears she is being greedy. She stops next to Jon who strokes Robb’s hair. Robb laughs and looks at his father. Then, Jon takes her hand to kiss it. He loves doing that. Every kiss is a promise and Jon keeps all his promises.

Sansa is happy, she has everything she could ever want. She is home with her family and that is the only thing that matters.

**Author's Note:**

> This is it. The idea came to me the other day and I tried to write as good as possible. I want Sansa to be happy, I want the Stark to be happy, all of them. And I really think Jon won't be a Targaryen, another great house is going to disappear at the end of the show I think (and maybe the Lannister but I let that to the reader).
> 
> Comments and kudos are welcomed!
> 
> [My Tumblr](https://the-hawk-eye-fics.tumblr.com/)


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